عذرا فلم أتمكن من الترجمة

*A foreign Newspaper wants to publish a report about the life in Egypt,So they send a female reporter to interview the common citizen in egypt..when she arrives at cairo..she picks a random guy ,and starts her interview*
>> Reporter:Hi

Egyptian:We 3alkom el salam ya 2otta

>> Reporter:Do u speak english?

Egyptian:Berfect

>>Reporter:Do u mind if i interview u?

Egyptian:No, i dont have a mind

>> Reporter:What' s your name?

Egyptian:Taha

>>Reporter: how do u find life here in egypt?

Taha:Egybt.. very nice cantry..nice wezar..nice food..byramidz

>>Reporter:oh well..beside the weather and the pyramids..what else do u
like in ur country?

Taha: Byramids,nice wezar,nice food

>>Reporter:Ok. .lets move on..what do u do?

Taha: I am very well ,sank u

>> Reporter:No, I mean do u have a job?

Taha(looking around him and whispering): Jobat?..no i dont have any(jobat)..lessa mastaba7nash. .do u have a (job) with u?..we can
esmoke it in my car..dont warry about bolice

>> Reprter:Oh my god,DO YOU WORK?

Taha:Yas yas..Taxi drivar

>> Reporter:What do u think about the traffic problem in egypt?

Taha:Very big broblem..very much cars..u see?..but za guvurment is trying to make it bettar..zey did the circle street and za me7war street..and zey make all streets one way so if u go..u cant comeback..niahahaha3

>>Reporter:What about the economic problems in Egypt?

Taha:I do not undurstand what u say

>> Reporter:I mean..how do u deal with money problems in egypt?

Taha: No NO NO..egybt very rich cantry...we have alot of cotton..alotof
water..and we have byramidz

>> Reporter: So do u make a lot of money?

Taha:No no.. it is not legal to make money..one frend i know make money at home..and he go to brizon..if u make money at home..u can only give it to za banzeena man..they take any money

>> Reporter: let me rephrase..since Egypt is a rich country.. do u have alot of money?

Taha:me?! ..Not alot..but I eat and drink Al7amdulelah?

>>Reporter:Then where does all the money go?

Taha: Guvurment

>> Reporter:And what does the government do with the money?

Taha:Zey Build circle street,me7war street and make all streets one way

>>Reporter:well , Ok...Do u vote?

Taha:What duz zat mean?

>>Reporter:Do u choose your president ?

Taha:Mubarak?

>>Reporter:yes

Taha(nervously) : i didnt give my voice..but if i was..i will give him my voice

>>Reporter:Why him?

Taha:Because he was an airoplane in za war..he waz za leadar airoplane

>>Reporter:But there r no wars right now

Taha:But if we have war..usee?.we know we will have a very good airoplane in it

>>Reporter:what about the last 26 years ?

Taha:I got marry..and have 3ala2 and Amira..and drive taxi

>>Reporter:No, i meant what did Mubarak do for Egypt in the last 26 years

Taha:He build circle street,me7war street and make all streets one way

>>Reporter:Thank you very much for ur time Mr. Taha

Taha:No broblem,only 10 bounds

>> Reporter:I never said i will pay u for this

Taha: Ok..just give me the (job) then..we smoke ,and make head

>>Reporter:Grrrrrrrr

Taha:ok ok..need a Taxi?


After her interview with Taha..The foreign reporter moves on and approaches
another random guy trying to cover other aspects of the Egyptian mentality:

Reporter:Hello
Egyptian:Welcun to egybt
Reporter:thank u ..may i interview u?
Egyptian:Ofcors
Reporter:What's ur name?
Egyptian:3essam
Reporter:Ok Mr.Essam..What do u do?..(remembering Taha again)..sorry..i mean do u work?
3essam:Yas..i have koshk
Reporter:koshk?..what is a koshk?
3essam:small subarmarkot..u undurstand?..I sell cigarettes..boxes and fart
Reporter:Dont u think somking is bad for people?
3essam:I dont hit beoble on zer hand and make zem smoke..az we say here in Egybt..(ur brain in ur head..u know where u finish)
Reporter:I dont get it...but lets move on ....How do u feel about terrorism?
3essaml:Terrorism is good..we love terrorisms in egybt..they bring dollars to za cantry..and zey all light Egybt..az we say here in egybt...nawart masr
Reporter:I am shocked to hear that
3essam:NO NO..dont shock..we are like zis..and our fazarz waz like zis..we love terrorisms and make zem feel at home...becoz zey bring a lot of money to za cantry and guvurment
Reporter:R u claiming that Terrorists support the Egyptian government financially?
3essam:Sbeak again bleez
Reporter:I mean,R u saying that terrorists are paying money to the Egyptian government?
3essam:Ofcorse zey bay...zey one of za most imbortant bay to za cantry..terrorists,and Sewiss canal and za high sadd in Aswan
Reporter:Oh my god..that is very disturbing...do u have any idea where do they reside in Egypt?
3essam:Sbeak again
Reporter:where terrosits stay in Egypt
3essam: Zey love Sharm El Sheikh..also Khan el Khalili to buy sofoneer and drink shisha
Reporter:oh yes..i can totally relate..we heard about bombings there a couple of years ago...Why do u think the police doesn't capture those terrorists?
3essam:Bolice here in egybt..very good..zey borotect terrorists very well..dont warry..dont zey brotect u?
Reporter:why do i need protection?
3essam:Because u r terrorist
Reprter:Absolutely not
3essam:u look like zem
Reporter:Do I?
3essam:yas..wite skin..no clozes and no sbeak arabic
Reporter:OH MY GOD..U MISSUNDERSTOOD MY QUESTIONS
3essam:Sank u very much..
Reporter:I'm sorry..i'll have to end this now before it leads to more wrong information
3essam:sbeak again
Reporter:I have to go now
3essam:No boroborem..u light Egybt


another interview with 3awatef,an egyptein english teacher and a member in gam3eyet almar2a almotawa7esha

interviewer:hello,,miss 3awatef..u r a miss..or should i say mrs??
3awatef:yes yes i am a miss ..i am miss 3awatef,,every pupils in the school call me miss 3awatef,,u can't call me misses 3awatef becoz this is plural and i am one miss ,,not misses..
interviewer:noo u misunderstood me...i mean..
3awatef(interrupting):oh may goood !!i said to you i am miss 3awatef..how u say "miss understood"??ohh may goood u no speak english good like i am and you are americans!!!
interviewer:OK miss 3awatef...plz...let's move on..
3awatef:move where?why move ?this chairs is fine,,i like sitting on them..please no move..
interviewer:okkk!!!
interviewer :what do you think of the women situation in egypt?
3awatef:woman is good,,woman is have all rights as man ..but man like to become si elsayed always...and woman have the 7'ol3 ,,i meaning if the man say"bem"to his wife we woman can give him 60 shoes on his head..so,,women are good..
interviewer:ok..what do u think of education in egypt??
3awatef:aducation is good and i teach aducation to children in za skool..but children are leave the class and jump from soor,,jump from soor,,jupm from soor...even it is a high school but the soor is not high like the school..and this makes me sad..
interviewer:excuse me..what is soor???
3awatef:soor>>>you know soor???soor is wall of school ..do u want see???
intervieweroh..no thx i got it..
3awatef:u got soor??u must live in villa;)true???
interviewer:noo...it's ok i mean i undersatnd you..anyway..do you think they jump from the "soor"because they don't want to be educated or it's just that they are like every other children this age,,rebelling everything as teenagers??
3awatef:yes yes ofcors i think.
....
............
."silence from both"
interviewer:ok,miss 3awatef..!! what do you think??
3awatef:yes i think like u say before..
interviewer:miss 3awatef are u sure that u are an english teacher??
3awatef:shoore i am shooore i am a english teacher i teach in the alsanaweya alsena3eya baneen and u can ask about this!!
3awatef:(nervous)u can't beleive me!!
interviewer:no of corse i believe you..but can u finally tell me from where did u graduated??
3awatef:i garduated from school..
interviewer:which school??
3awatef:why you say witch school !!u think i look like a witch??NA3AM NA3AM YA7'TYYYY DANA A2ATTA3EK WALA YHEMENY AGANEB WALA AMRICAAAAAAAANNNN!!
interviewer(shocked and terrified):oh my god what is this!!!
3awatef:this is sharsha7a ya 3ooooooomaaaaaaaar
interviewer:who is omar???plz calm down u r not seeing well!!let me explain!!
3awatef:I NOT SEE??leh 3amya odaaamek!!!beteshtemenyyyy!!tab ta3alyyyyy i will make u see who is omar........
(the interviewer is back in london with a broken arm ,6 broken fingers,one eyebrow,37 bit marks in different places in her body..and a coma...may god be with her)..
lol